Faithful Friends

As I count the considerable and undeserved blessings of my life, faithful friendships inevitably make the top 10. These are people who understand reciprocity, the give and take of relationships. More importantly to me as time rolls on, they share the common bond of faith and purpose that motivates my life. They are not only faithful to me, but are also full of faith.

With what might at first be a personal aside (we are tempted to skim over) Paul speaks of such relationship when he refers to Timothy and the Philippian church:

I hope in the Lord Jesus to send Timothy to you soon, that I also may be cheered when I receive news about you. I have no one else like him, who takes a genuine interest in your welfare. For everyone looks out for his own interests, not those of Jesus Christ. But you know that Timothy has proved himself, because as a son with his father he has served with me in the work of the gospel. I hope, therefore, to send him as soon as I see how things go with me... (Philippians 2:19-23)

Paul speaks so highly of Timothy as he "has proved himself" a true partner in the gospel who has a genuine interest in the well-being of others (not just himself). It is absolutely biblical, if we follow Paul's example, to evaluate relationships in such a manner. This proving, of course, goes way beyond saying the right (flattering) words when it suits us. We prove ourselves by staying the course of the furtherance of the gospel even when it seems no one is looking. There is no room for facades or divisiveness in it. We honor one another out of reverence for Christ. (Ephesians 5:21)

I love the realistic undertones of these verses. Even Paul knew the loneliness that comes with the realization that such friends are a rarity in this world (I have no one else like him...everyone looks out for his own interests, not those of Jesus Christ). Nevertheless, his overarching message in this letter is one of relentless joy, as he focuses on the true friend in the Lord that he does have in Timothy.

If we bring this passage home to our hearts, we might evaluate, first, the quality of friendship we offer others. Honestly, whose best interest are we invested in? What is our common mission (recreation, ego, competition, or the gospel)? As we look around in our lives, who can we be thankful for? Do we thank God for them? Do we thank them?


God, please, make me such a friend to others. Help me to notice those in my life who follow hard after you, shoulder to shoulder, for the sake of your Kingdom. Amen

Interest

Interest is a fascinating word, really.Bankers love the word, as it represents the amount of return they get for the services involved in loaning us other people's money.  If we are attentive to something, it us usually because we find it interesting. The degree of interest we have in the subject (or person) is usually in direct correlation to the attention we give it (or them). As humans, our tendency is to be interested in ourselves. It is because of this tendency that Paul had to exhort the Philippians to care about others, saying:

Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.Philippians 2:4

The wording seems to acknowledge that we will look to our own interests. There is no need for a commandment to do that. Nor does he command us not to look to our own interests. The command is that, as we do so, we need to look also to the interests of others.

The writer has carefully laid out the basis of all Christian motivation and actions: we are encouraged by our unity with Christ; we are receive comfort from his love, along with tenderness and compassion. Therefore, we are to make Paul's joy complete by being like-minded, having the  same love, being one in spirit an purpose. This will result in the absence of selfish motivations and vain conceit, and we will attend to the interests of others (just as we attend to our own). I am reminded of the second greatest command: Love your neighbor as yourself. The second part is less a command than an acknowledgement. It is the loving others part we needed a commandment for.

In your conversations with others, do you actually listen to the answers for the questions you ask. Do you find yourself eager to turn the conversation back to yourself? Does every story remind you of a story about yourself? These are hidden clues that we may be more self-centered than not. And it is time for a heart adjustment. As infants, we are the center of our own little worlds. As we mature, we realize (hopefully) that we share the world with millions of others. Our interests, our stories, are not the center of everything. In fact, we are to consider others as better than ourselves.

God is not asking us to do anything that he has not already done, and Paul is about to elaborate on the attitude of Jesus. It is through his eyes we are to see one another; it is with his heart we are to love one another...at any cost!

As we go about our days, as we engage with one another at home, in the workplace, on the street or in the church, let us look to the interests of others. His Holy Spirit within us wants to do so, but we will have to move our egos out of the way. Ironically, as we do so, we find our true fulfillment in the law of love.