Affectionate Prayer

When we were dating, we could not wait to converse with our partners. Whether in person or over the phone, we hung upon each word. Our love was so strong; we longed to be with one another. Our “first love” kindled brightly. As time goes on, most couples become immune to such powerful affection. We sometimes see conversation as a duty.

Our prayers may fall under a similar spell of disillusionment. We might think of them as an obligation to be fulfilled (before forgotten). How starkly Paul’s words to the Philippians contrast with our deflated feelings toward prayer for others:

“I thank God for you every time I remember you…It is right for me to feel this way about all of you, since I have you in my heart; for whether I am in chains or defending and confirming the gospel, all of you share in God’s grace with me. God can testify how I long for all of you with the affection of Christ Jesus.” Philippians 1:3, 7-8

The obvious fondness displayed in these words is remarkable by any standards. All the more so, when you remember that Paul started out as Saul, persecutor of the Church of Jesus Christ. He stood by while Christians were stoned, and was proud to do so. Now, transformed from the inside out by the work of the Holy Spirit, he can barely contain his affection for other believers.

Paul was nothing if not “all in.” He saw his life as belonging to Christ. His personal ego long dead, he felt no embarrassment in declaring his love for groups of people, or even for other individual men (2 Timothy 1:3-4).

These strong declarations of loving affection cause me to question why are so different today? We are too cool and aloof to put our hearts out there like that. Men may declare their appreciation, regard and respect for one another, but we are hard pressed to say to one another, “I love you.” Our prayers are motivated by a sense of responsibility (not a bad thing). But what keeps us from our first love for one another? What barriers have we erected that hide the potential of deep emotional (there, I said it) connection with one another?

In speaking with an older saint the other day, as we reflected on the simple words “love is patient and kind,” I asked him why he thought we, the church of Christ, have such a hard time living them out. He answered that he thinks it is our “broken natures.” Since the Fall of Adam and Eve, people have gone their own way, seeking to be gods of their personal universes. In truth, we have a hard time letting our heart focus for long on the needs or admirable qualities of another person. And that outward focus is what is required to feel and express the affection of Christ for one another.

Let’s pray that the Holy Spirit will shine a light into the dark recesses of our hearts, not for condemnation, but for healing. Let him show us our self-centeredness, so that we can lay it down and put it to death. As our eyes turn to him, let the scales fall away from our eyes so that we can see the beloved others around us. Seeing them, let us love them. Loving them, let us say so— out loud.


“I thank God whom I serve, as my forefathers did, with a clear conscience, as night and day I constantly remember you in my prayers. Recalling your tears, I long to see you, so that I may be filled with joy.” 2 Timothy 1:3-4

Joyful Prayer

My days are filled with problems. They come in all shapes and sizes. Of course, many of these come from time with clients. Even as I sit with family and friends, conversations gravitate toward problems. Some are quickly resolved, many are not. The mysteries of emotional mazes that accompany seemingly simple issues complicate the road home to solutions and intimacy. As Scott Peck, author of “The Road Less Travelled” says in his opening statement, life is difficult.

I have been in countless situations where believers gather for prayer. I am struck by the nature of the inventory of prayer requests. Most have to do with petitions for comfort: relief from health concerns, financial stress, relationship crises, and occupational dilemmas. Let me say at the outset, there is nothing wrong with praying for these issues.

But please consider this. Have you ever had a relationship with friend or family that consisted primarily of them contacting you when there was a problem in their lives? What quality of relationship is it, when the only common ground is somebody’s difficulties? How excited are you to hear their voice when they always seem to want something from you?

Now, I am sure that God is always eager to hear from us. I know that there is no limit to his patience, and our troubles do not exhaust him. Still, there is something to be said for balance in our relationships, whether human or divine relationships.

Paul opens his letter to the Philippian church with a declaration of joyful prayer. In it we see gratitude for the church and its faithfulness, and joy for their faithful alliance with him in the gospel of Jesus Christ. We hear his faith in the ability of the Holy Spirit to complete his work in them until the end of the age. Joy. Gratitude. Faith. These opening statements must have made the Philippians smile. Such prayers must make God smile.

Gratitude is linked to so many positive spiritual outcomes in the Bible. When we are grateful in offering our prayers and petitions, supernatural peace guards our hearts. Grateful prayer preceded the resurrection of Lazarus. At the last supper, Jesus broke the bread and gave thanks, and a new covenant was established. Paul thanks God for the Philippians, and joy follows.

Joy and happiness are not the same thing, in the Bible. Happiness is more temporary, tied specifically to favorable (but changeable) circumstances. Joy is better because it is anchored in eternity. We know how it all ends, so our troubles in this life are a blip on the radar screen of eternity. Paul did not write about joy as a philosopher, but as a traveler on a long and difficult road. He suffered every kind of persecution known to man, and yet he inhabited joy.

There is a lot to be joyful about. In this world we will have trouble, but fear not, Jesus has overcome the world. Thank God for all he is, for all he has done, for all he has given, for those who travel beside you on the road home to intimacy. And be joyful.

“I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” Philippians 1:3-6

Regarding Truth

The first chapter of the Gospel of John states the Word became flesh and made his dwelling place among us...full of grace and truth.

Many of these posts have focused on grace,specifically in relationships. Truth, on the other hand, represents reality from God’s point of view. This includes the fact that God has standards and expectations, and that every person falls short of those. Truth is essential because it anchors the Gospel:

“All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” Romans 3:23

“The wages of sin is death, the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 6:23

If grace is sweet on the tongue, truth is a little hard to swallow. To the world, it seems so narrow minded, so arrogant. I find it ironic that the world wants to paint Jesus as meek and mild. A nice guy, a great moral teacher, even a prophet. Anything but who he says he is!

Regarding Jesus claims about who he is, C.S. Lewis concluded we must decide if Jesus is Lord, lunatic or liar! Who claims to be God's only begotten son but a lunatic- or God's only begotten son? Who claims to be the only way to heaven but a crazy man, or perhaps, the one who IS the only way to heaven!

"And the Word became flesh, and made his dwelling among us… full of grace and truth."

There is a true story of a battleship cruising the Atlantic off the northern coast of Maine one stormy evening:

The commander of the battleship was notified. "Sir, there's a light ahead. Oncoming vessel."

"Signal oncoming vessel, 'Change your course ten degrees to the west.'" The message was sent, but a light flashed back, "Change your course ten degrees to the east."

The commander barked, "Signal again, ‘Change your course ten degrees to the west. I am an admiral.'" The light flashed back. "Change your course ten degrees to the east. I'm a seaman third class."

By this time the admiral was incensed as he thundered, "Signal again, 'Change your course ten degrees to the west. I am a battleship.'" And the message came back, "Change your course ten degrees to the east. I am a lighthouse!"

Sometimes we act like admirals. We're the boss, we think. We want to create God in our own image, to imagine that He will grade on a curve, that He will keep up and accommodate our ever changing cultural norms. We believe we know better than God, what is fair and right.

The world shouts to God- “Change course, we are good people!”

To this way of thinking, Jesus shouts with authority- "You change course! I am the lighthouse."

Seventy nine times, Jesus is quoted in the Gospels as saying- “I tell you the truth." And the Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us…full of grace and TRUTH. In our pursuit of grace, let us never neglect the truth.

“I am the way the truth and the life, no man comes to the Father but by me.” John 14:6

"For this reason I was born, and for this I came into the world, to testfy to the truth. Everyone on the side of truth listens to me." Jesus to Pilate: John 18:37

“You shall know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”John 8:32

Take Heart

At the 1992 Olympic Games in Barcelona, British athlete Derek Redmond won the first round of the 400m race with the fastest time and also easily won the quarterfinals. But in the semifinal, just 150 meters into the race, his right hamstring tore, causing him to fall to the ground. He gathered all his courage to stand up as the stretchers were being carried toward him. In tears and his face grimacing in terrible pain, he was determined to finish the lap and started to hobble down the track. His dad Jim Redmond barged past security to be united with his son, and assisted him until the finish line. And as they crossed the finish line, they were given a rousing standing ovation by the 65,000-strong crowd.

You are running a race as well. The race is impossible on your own. God the Father found a way to come along side you. He wants to wrap his strong and loving arms around you. He wants to help you finish strong.

Take Heart. Jesus has sent a comforter, the Holy Spirit, to speak words of encouragement to you, at just the right time. You are not alone in the race. Take heart. The Holy Spirit indwells us and writes the will of God on our hearts. As we grow in relationship with Him, we hear his voice, often through the words of Scripture, encouraging and exhorting us to finish strong. Take heart. Jesus is with you. He has promised that he will never leave you or forsake you. When human relationships disappoint, He is there. When we are challenged to love and respect one another, He is there.

In fellowship with one another, as we let people in and become a part of faith fellowships like a local church, we can sometimes be the voice of Jesus to one another, cheering one another on. The book of Hebrews uses the metaphor of the spiritual life as a race. We are to cheer one another on, staying in fellowship with one another, keeping our eyes on the finish line. The author says:

“Therefore… let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race set before us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith… so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.” Hebrews 12:1-3

You run your race on the tracks of integrity, faithfulness, and relationships. Jesus stands at the finish line; arms open wide, face beaming with joy, cheering you on. If you listen to his teachings and run the race his way, your joy will be full, you will be blessed, and you will receive the ultimate medal at the end of the race.

Heart matters are at the center of our spiritual walk, our relationships, and our marriages. Heart really matters. Take heart! Jesus is waiting, eager to award you the ultimate medal with these words:

“Well done my good and faithful servant. Come and share your master’s happiness.”

Psalms, Hymns and Spiritual Songs

Having just exhorted the Colossians to teach and admonish one another, Paul then refers to a common teaching method of the day, saying “as you sing songs hymns and spiritual songs” (3:16). The early Christians had only the Old Testament, and did not have access to the New Testament (which was being written in various forms) or to other Christian books. The teachings and life of Jesus were memorized and passed on verbally, from person to person. Sometimes these verbal traditions were set to music. Thus, music became an important part of both education and worship. The purpose was to glorify God, but also to teach people truth in a way they could remember and pass on to others.

Part of our understandable confusion about such passages has to do with changing traditions and methods as well as the changes in meanings of words over time, including the English language. Today, for example, when we hear the word psalms, we assume it refers to a lengthy book of poetry in the Old Testament. In the original language, and when first translated into English, psalms was derived from a literal meaning referring to the striking of one’s fingers on the strings of a musical instrument (today we might refer to such similar things as “strum” or “pluck”). In the Bible, it refers either to the Psalms of the Old Testament, or, as in this passage, to sacred songs with musical accompaniment. Hymns now conjures more modern traditions in the church, accompanied by an organ or piano, with several verses, packed with teaching and doctrinal principles. Hymns as understood in this manner were the dominant singing tradition of the church in recent generations. When Paul wrote the word, it simply meant “a song of praise addressed to God.” The last words, spiritual songs, includes the generic word for song, ode, and a modifier, spiritual. So, in Colossians 3:16, Paul was referring to the common teaching methods of the time: psalms (sacred songs accompanied by musical instruments), hymns (songs of praises to God), and songs of spiritual nature and content. There was not one style or preference for music in the church, even in the first century.

What we can take from this phrase, is that a primary purpose of music in Paul’s culture was to teach. Style was not an issue, however, meaningful and doctrinally sound content (lyrics) are the common denominator of all these kinds of music. Just as we are to evaluate whether the teaching we receive tells the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, we should run the Christian music we hear through the same filter. If we are in a position to choose music to be sung in our local churches, we are responsible for running it through the filter before it reaches the congregation. We carry equal responsibility as those teaching. Music carries its message into the heart, soul and mind. It is a gift of common grace to all people, as it strikes chords in the soul. Use it wisely to “teach and admonish one another in all wisdom.”

“Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another in all wisdom, and as you sing songs, hymns and spiritual songs…” Col. 3:16

Teach One Another

In Colossians 3, Paul encourages us to let the message (word) of Christ dwell among us richly. He then tells us how this is to happen: “as you teach and admonish one another in all wisdom”(vs. 16). He goes on to say some things about praise, but for today I want to meditate through the keyboard about the quoted phrase… teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom.

These are not necessarily attractive words in western culture these days. If someone invites us to be taught and admonished, we may have flashbacks of grade school where we were told to sit down, shut up and “behave ourselves.” We would much rather be entertained than taught, and we rather fancy ourselves as being above admonishment. After all, admonishment is for the unruly and we are good Christian folk. These cultural attitudes speak to our narcissism, our sense of already having arrived. We prefer to compare ourselves to the lost world around us. By comparison, we then feel smug and secure, patting ourselves on the back as we leave our local gatherings, thanking God that we are not like “those sinners” we encounter day after day.

The problem is we have not arrived, any of us. We do not yet fully grasp or comprehend the mind of Christ. We have not yet completely yielded ourselves, and every area of our lives, to the will of God. So we need desperately to be taught. Our default modes still gravitate toward the flesh, either in disobedience or pride. Admonishment is the loving hand of God’s Holy Spirit remodeling us from the inside out- the sledge hammer that takes down cracking walls and the crow bar that rips up moldy carpet. We are works in progress. He does not require us to be finished, cleaned up, fully redeemed (sanctified), before He loves us. But He does require that we undergo the process of redemption, not only from hell, but also from ourselves.

As I ponder this phrase, the risen Christ’s words to the Church in Laodicea come to mind:
“I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish that you were either one or the other! So because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth. You say, ‘I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.' But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked. I counsel you to buy from me gold refined in the fire, so you can become rich; and white clothes to wear, so you can cover your sinful nakedness; and salve to put on your eyes, so you can see. THOSE WHOM I LOVE I REBUKE AND DISCIPLINE. So be earnest and repent. Here I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me.” Rev. 3:15-20

At first glance this does not sound like much of a love letter. However, Jesus clarifies his motives: He rebukes and disciplines those he loves. He states his intentions: to persuade us to open the door so we can fellowship with him. There can be no intimacy without conflict. Conflict-free relationships are neither hot nor cold—they are lukewarm. Lukewarm relationships are not real, whether with God or people. Jesus is saying to the church (today?): “Get real or move on!”

So Paul’s reminder to “teach and admonish one another in all wisdom” fully aligns itself with the heart of Jesus for his church. Biblical wisdom keeps in view the holiness of God, and the brokenness of the world including those who dwell in it. It looks not to doom and gloom, nor to unrealistic optimistic denial, but focuses on the realities of a stumbling, bumbling band of vagabonds who need desperately to be taught and admonished on the road home to intimacy with God and others. Through these means, He will complete in us the good things He has started. And that’s an optimism we can count on.

“In my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” Philippians 1:4-5

And Be Thankful

It appears almost as an afterthought. It is one of those points you wish you could ask him to clarify: Why there? Paul has just reminded the Colossians to clothe themselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving just as the Lord forgave them. Over all these virtues they are to put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. They are to let the peace of Christ rule in their hearts (for they were called to peace). And there it is, a three word sentence: “And be thankful.” Col. 3:15

It is not the only time Paul linked gratitude to peace. In his letter to the Philippians, he reminded them:

“Do not be anxious (do not go on being anxious), but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” Phil. 4:6 (parentheses mine).
The Holy Spirit inspired these appearances of thankfulness (gratitude) and peace in the same context for good reasons. In the Philippians passage, Paul elaborates that when their minds dwell in the place where they are focused on things that are right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent and praiseworthy, and act accordingly, the God of peace will be with them. Of course, God’s presence in our lives is not contingent upon our behaviors, or even our attitudes. He has promised to never leave us or forsake us. Paul is here underlining the fact that our God is a God of peace, and when our hearts are aligned with his heart, we are unified with him in intent and purpose. What a place to be!

The reverse point is worth visiting. When we are dwelling on the negative, focusing on the things that are wrong, impure, ugly, disreputable, gossip-worthy, etc., there is no room for the peace of Christ. We are not “with” the God of peace. We are working at cross-purposes with him. In this sense, we are not “with” him. We are against him.

No wonder negativity drains us so! Our minds, hearts, souls and spirits are not working in accordance with the heart of God. You can only move a refrigerator so far from its power source before it becomes unplugged. Similarly, when we dwell in the negative and drink in the dark, we can unplug ourselves from the empowering Spirit; he will not enable us to do the things that are not in accordance with his will. And that is an exhausting place to live. The negative ripple effect can devastate our horizontal relationships as well. Whatever is not of the Spirit is of flesh. Life in the flesh is selfishness, and the fruits of selfishness are disharmony, separation and resentment.

The three word phrase, “And be thankful,” is no accident. Paul did not add it as an afterthought as if to say, “Oh yeah, remember to thank God,” before moving on to more pressing matters; not at all. He was slipping us an important key. One of the main ways we can let (God is a gentleman; we have a choice) the peace of Christ rule in our hearts, is to be thankful.

Whatever is happening in your life right now, it’s a pretty fair bet it is a mixed hand. You are probably looking at some good cards and some… you would rather trade in. It’s not that the “bad cards” are not there. It’s that we are so easily focused on them that we can forget to play our hand constructively.

Remember where you have come from, and who has brought you this far. Remember where you are going. To say that, if you are redeemed through faith in Christ, your future is bright is a laughable understatement! Someday, sooner than we think, the negatives will be wiped away. The things that are right, pure, lovely, excellent, and praiseworthy will endure forever. And you will live in his loving presence forever. Dwell on these things. And be thankful.