Love and Irritability

Ecclesiastes asserts there is a time and place for every action and emotion under heaven. This must include anger. God certainly exhibits anger, and Jesus demonstrated it from time to time in various degrees. Anger is not always wrong, and it is not always sin. Sometimes, however, when our buttons are easily pushed, when we are easily provoked, when our anger is stirred at the drop of a hat, when we become greatly distressed over matters that later appear minor, it can only be supposed that we are not coming from a place motivated primarily by love.

Godly anger is motivated by godly motives. His values are being violated, people are being hurt, his truth is being compromised. We must take a stand and speak clearly on his behalf. There is a time for such anger, and God stands with his hands on our shoulders as we become his channels for such energy, still motivated, even at those times, by his love.

Much of the anger that gets us in trouble is the kind Paul alludes to in 1 Corinthians 13:5, “Love is not… easily angered.” The Corinthians were even suing one another rather than approaching one another in love to reconcile their differences. Of course, such things would never happen in the church today (insert sarcastic tone here).

Some of the attitudes that set us up to be easily angered include: a highly opinionated approach to life (a prideful attitude that implies “I know best.”); a lot of beliefs, beyond scriptural principles, about the way things “should" be done; personal insecurity and self-doubt easily triggered by off-hand remarks; a desire to have personal control of things that are beyond one’s personal control; an unrealistic need for the approval of others; projection of our own dark hearts onto the character of others (so that we can safely judge them from a distance). What these things have in common is an attitude of godlikeness-- with a small “g.”

Rather than becoming like our Father, who forgave us much, we are becoming little gods of our little kingdoms, setting up our thrones of judgment and control and handing out judgment and retribution when people fail to meet our standards. What is lacking in our hearts at such times is clearly agape love. Agape love, expressed in Gods child, is not easily angered because it is not invested in ruling its own little kingdom. It knows that is God’s job.

Agape, expressed through people, knows that it is forgiven, and gives itself away freely on that basis. We love, from agape, not because the other person fails to annoy us (on the basis of our own arbitrary standards) but because God loved us first. The only reasonable outcome of such love is that it be given away—with abandon. In order to do so, I must let the peace that comes from Christ rule in my heart (which means setting aside the many other idols I have placed there) and let him rule. Then I will kneel, side by side with my brothers and sisters, objects of his love, grace and mercy, freely loved, freely loving.

“Love is not… easily angered.” 1 Corinthians 13:5

“And over all these virtues, put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body, you were called to peace.” Colossians 3:14-15

Love and Rudeness

This week I am returning to 1 Corinthians 13 to our phrase by phrase ownership of the famous chapter on love’s superiority to any spiritual gift without it. Paul here states,” Love…is not rude.” Study of the Greek word revealed that it is found only here and in the same letter, chapter 7, when Paul states that a man who has been engaged to a woman for a long time and finds that he is “acting improperly” toward her, can go ahead and marry her if he wishes. If he does so, Paul concludes, he is not sinning. This passage seems odd to today’s reader and is worthy of its own analysis. Suffice it to say here, that the meaning has something to do with not taking into account the effect of one’s behavior on the feelings and reputation of another. To act in such a way, with disregard for how we are affecting others, is to act improperly, to act rudely. One has the distinct feeling that this is one of those words that loses something in translation, but we are stuck with what we have.

Rudeness in this sense seems to carry a tone of insensitivity, callousness, indifference to the wellbeing (emotional, spiritual, reputation) of another whom we are called to love. The Corinthians were exhibiting rudeness in their worship (insensitivity to how their disorderly worship might affect newcomers) and in the observance of the Lord’s Supper (showing favoritism). To this extent, they were not exhibiting the agape love God intended.

Today’s reader can learn a lot from considering this phrase. In our quest for boundaries (I am responsible for my own feelings and no one else’s) we may, at times, go too far. In Western culture, we stand upon our independence. In so doing, we are fond of declaring our rights: our right to say and do and eat and drink exactly as we please. Our freedom in Christ may give us even more reason to declare that no man can tell us what to do. We are not legalists, after all, bound to a set of rules. But we are not to forget that just because a thing is permissible, that does not mean it is profitable. And permissable does not make it beneficial. If a newer believer, or one weaker in the faith, witnesses us doing a certain thing, might it cause him to stumble? Then love might call us to make another choice.

There are many things that are not technically sin that can wound another. While we are not unilaterally responsible for the feelings of others, we are commanded to build one another up. In another letter, one written to the Ephesians, Paul challenged Christ followers to allow only those words to cross their lips that were beneficial for building one another up. What a different experience the church would be, if we took these charges to heart. Sensitivity toward one another is not a sign of weakness, it is a sign of Christlikeness, as we take on his compassion, and leave behind the rudeness of the world from which he called us.

“Love … is not rude.” 1 Corinthians 13:5

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only that which is useful for building others up according to needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” Ephesians 4:29

Coming Home

Our recent trip to Nashville revealed many wonders. The Opryland Hotel, with its acres of atriums, waterfalls, walkways (many at treetop level) cafes, restaurants and elegant architecture is a marvel to behold and a privilege to abide. The classes were Spirit led, opened with sincere prayer for guidance and open hearts, both psychologically researched and scripturally sound. Our “extra days” got us a river boat cruise, some neat music shops (including a chance personal encounter with Brad Paisley) and some time downtown on Broadway where many music legends were born.

There is a lot to like about Nashville, in my opinion. It has not lost its “small town feel.” People have time to talk with you, take an interest in you, and for the most part, exude that traditional southern warmth. Driving through town, you never have a sense of being in a metro area, as the lush trees and greenery flank the roads and highways. As you look across the landscape, you see trees, rolling hills and rooftops, not sterile subdivisions, concrete and pavement. It’s probably a matter of taste, but for these reasons, I like Nashville a lot. Then there’s the music-- everywhere. Open air downtown, in the restaurants, and concerts. The hotel has a free shuttle to The Grand Ole Opry where you get a blend of old and new style music in a fun and professional atmosphere for about $40 a person. On Friday night we saw: Jimmy C. Newman, Lonesome River Band, The Whites (Oh Brother, Where Art Thou), Josh Kelley, Jimmy Dickens, Jesse McReynolds, The Mclymonts (Aussie Sisters), T.G. Sheppard and Exile.

Back in the hotel, as I walked among the other 6,999 conventioneers, I observed a sea of diversity. There were the guys with $100 haircuts and tailored suits, the women with stylish shoes that came off the minute they sat down, and the folks in tattered jeans and tee shirts, looking like they would, I assume, on a typical Saturday afternoon around the house. Some were outgoing, making eye contact with easy smiles, many were in their own little spaces and following their own little road maps for the day, oblivious to those around them (probably an urban phenomenon I have left behind or forgotten). A chance encounter on one of the shuttles with one “pastor” with a gift of prophevcy was a standout. Within a sentence or two he was ready to judge a particular church’s growth as being “like a cancer” because it shares some seeker sensitive principles in its approach. His communication was one way, and I could see that he was most definitely a prophet. His disclaimer, “I don’t have the gift of mercy,” seemed to get him off the hook for a lot…

On the plane coming and going, I read “Forgotten God” by Francis Chan. It is a challenging book, and I recommend it with the assumption that the reader is mature enough not to take any book outside the Bible as gospel. It is our job to search the scripture and take the contents in prayer to Spirit to ask him to reveal to us what we should learn and become. That being said, there is a section in the book where he asks regarding our geographical setting: “What would be different in the kingdom of God if you were not there?”

In reading that sentence, even in the wonderland of Nashville, with all that I enjoy and even prefer there, I longed to come home. I think this is one of the ways we can know that we are in God’s will (at least for now). If we feel the tug to be with those we minister to and with, even when the world dazzles us with its splendor, then I think we have found a home.

Yes, it’s nice to be home again. I am so thankful for the place God has carved out for us here, to bless and be blessed by the family of God. I am grateful for this place between the mountains to (hopefully) be a lamp on a stand to those who seek, and to serve shoulder to shoulder with fellow travellers on the ultimate road home.

"God can testify how I long for you all with the affection of Christ Jesus." Phillipians 1:8

Poor in Spirit

For the last few weeks I have been approaching the definition of agape love in 1 Corinthians 13 phrase by phrase. The obvious title for the next phrase “is not arrogant” might have been: “Arrogance and Love on the Road Home.” Call me skeptical, but I thought no one would want to read such a blog post. Few of us think we are arrogant. If we suspect we are, we don’t want some blogger rubbing it in our face. If we think someone else is, we may be better off not dwelling on it (leads to judgment, after all.)

Jesus’ harshest words were unleashed upon the self-righteous, the “religious,” those arrogant in their moral superiority. Those who prayed, “thank you God that I am not like that sinner” versus “God, have mercy upon me, a sinner!” were not open to the gospel, because they were not aware of their need for it. On the other hand, he said of those repentant of heart, “Those forgiven much, love much.” There is, then, an inverse relationship between arrogance and love, and a direct correlation between poverty of spirit and the capacity for love.

Occasionally, it is my extraordinary pleasure as a counselor to work with individuals who recognize that they are poor in spirit. They are not coming to the counseling session for relief from a particular symptom or to deal with a particular relationship or even an event. They are seeking guidance and insight because they have come to see what Christ expects of them, and they recognize how far they fall short of those expectations.

They are not legalists. They are not concerning themselves with a set of external rules or behaviors. It is not generally abstinence from a vice that drives them to their knees. There are programs and self-help books in abundance for such issues. When they realize that, in the depths of their hearts, they love the likable and despise the rest, they fear that they are no different than the rest of the world. They wonder how knowing Christ has altered them. They may even question whether they really know Christ at all. When I think of such people, I am reminded of the rest of the beatitude~ “For theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”

It is a good thing to realize that, in and of ourselves, we are utterly lacking. That is the truth that brings us to our knees before Christ. It causes us to cry out to him, to crave his righteousness to manifest itself in our hearts first, then in our lives and relationships. It is crucial that, in the process, we accept the agape of Spirit and others. That is what grace is for.

“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 5:3 NIV

“Love is not…arrogant.” 1 Corinthians 13:4 NASB

Love and Boasting on the Road Home

When attempting to describe something to someone who has never experienced it, we sometimes resort to its opposite: Snowy climates are not hot, the desert is not humid, and agape love does not boast.

In I Corinthians 13:4, as Paul was talking to the church in Corinth, the church body was being split into factions. They were tempted to see levels of gifts that the Holy Spirit never intended, placing some believers above others. The implications were far reaching. The temptation to boast was all too apparent. Paul's concern was that this boastful attitude was incongruent with the agape love of the Holy Spirit.

The one who is boasting (about gifts or anything else) is not loving. Such a person has become like a sounding gong or a clanging cymbal. Lots of noise and attention, but not much real ministry going on. The word for boasting here, interestingly, is used only here in the New Testament.

It is no accident, I suspect, that Paul places this phrase so strategically after the phrase about envy (see last weeks post). We are prone to boast about the same things we are prone to envy. The particular flavor of our boasting is likely determined by the social setting (if we are sensitive to such things at all). So, if we are carnal folks, surrounded by worldly friends and family who openly live for today and live by the motto "he who dies with the most toys wins" we will brag about our toys. If, on the other hand, such boasting is not kosher in our circle of "spiriutal" friends, we may still quietly hoard and covet such things, inviting friends and family to see them, then boast in the success of our ministries or gifts and our special relationship with Jesus.

This matter can challenge us because it comes down to motives that nobody else can see-- nobody but you and Jesus. Hopefully, we want to glorify Him. We want to share with others the great things He is doing in our lives and ministries. If we are not very careful, our hearts can cross the line, and it becomes about the great things we have done, or even the great things He has done with us, his special pets. We can easily find ourselves saying, in the depths of our hearts--"Can I sit on your right hand in glory?"

There is no boasting in love. The fingernail does not boast that it is more visible than the toenail. It just does what the body tells it to do because it is integrated to the finger which is also doing what it is told in submission to the brain, etc.

Each part, each person, is necessary. Jesus is the great one. If we boast at all, let us boast in Him.


1 Corinthians 13:4 "Love ... does not boast."

Love and Envy on the Road Home

We have all felt it, that twinge of jealousy when we first see our friend's much nicer house or his cooler new ride. Something childish and primitive deep inside cries out, "Why not me? I deserve that more than he does! I want! I want! I want!" We know we should be happy for him, but, truthfully, we wish we had it.

Maybe we have left such material desires behind us. Being spiritual, we have moved on. Until we hear the stirring young gifted one teach and move the multitude to repentance and restoration and in our dark hearts we question, "What dues has he paid, Lord? I have been your faithful servant all these years and never seen such fruit. It's not fair!"

Jesus knows us cold, doesn't he? In the parable of the workers (Matthew 20:1-16) he used the illustration of calling workers for a wage. Some came at the beginning of the day, agreed to the wage, and devoted themselves to the task. Others came at the end of the day and received the same wage for a short amount of work. At this, the workers who had labored hard all day cried, "Unfair!" To which the overseer replied, "Mind your own business. Or are you envious because I am generous?" (OK, that's my paraphrase.) I know, the point of Jesus parable probably had more to do with Israel and Gentiles than the point I am making here, but I don't think he will object.

God gives to each one according to God's plan, in his sovereignty, and we need to, essentially, mind our own business. As Jesus said to the other disciples regarding John's lifespan, "what is it to you if I decide he should tarry until I return?"(John 21:22) As usual, our difficulty arises when we forget who is God and who is not.

Another part of the sovereign plan of God that we overlook is his lovingkindness for each of us. The Mother who says "no" to her child who wants the second dessert or the Father who does not give his young son the keys to the Jaguar does so out of love. They can see consequences the child cannot see, and are protecting them in ways the child cannot understand.

There are very good reasons, no doubt, that we do not all look like movie stars and have unlimited wealth. These are not the things that will bring us into spiritual and emotional intimacy with God and one another, and that is the purpose of our being here. That is the destination of our journey on this, our road home.


"Love... does not envy." I Corinthians 13:4

Encouragement

Recently I was lying in bed in the early hours before the dawn. It was during one of those seasons as a counselor when the task of bearing other’s burdens was taking a particular toll. I could feel the pain of the sheep entrusted to my care in the depths of my soul. This pain motivates my prayer, my study, and my diligence as an under-shepherd. At times, I grow weary in doing good, even knowing better.

On this particular morning, my words all used up, my soul was groaning in sighs too deep for words. Suddenly, a wave of peace swept over me in my bed as tangibly as a wave of water. With it came a sense of knowing. I somehow knew that God had heard the cries of my soul on behalf of the beloved. I knew the prayers would be answered in ways above and beyond our expectations. The Father is not stingy; He is not meager in granting the desires of our hearts when they are in alignment with his will. He is able and willing to grant them exceedingly and abundantly above and beyond our wildest dreams.

These are the moments that keep me going. Much more than words of praise on lips of men, more even than the days when actual life circumstances begin to shift miraculously and the hand of the Lord is seen to deliver us in times of trouble…it is in these quiet intimate whispers in the wee hours of the morning when it seems darkest and most hopeless, hope breaks through in the intangible voice of the Spirit of God. Ironically, I would never know these moments without first walking a narrow and difficult path. God’s treasures are rarely found on the broad and easy road.

If you are weary of wielding the sword of faith, take heart. He is not far from you. He will hold up your arms and make you victorious for his Name’s sake. If you have prayed for the wayward child until your knees are calloused and your inventory of words has run dry, keep crying from the depths of your spirit. He hears you. He will answer your prayers and be true to his promise to hold his sheep tightly in his hand. If your heart is broken by the circumstances of life that have thrown it to the floor again and again, hand it to Him. He is the Master of mending the broken hearted. Wherever you are today, know that He is not far from you. His love for you is never-failing and oh, so competent.

We are not paupers, as the enemy would have us believe. We are indeed, children of the King. Take heart.


“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33