Q & A: The Foundation of Healthy Relationships

Healthy Relationships

This post is a summary of part of an interview I recently gave in a local church.

·        How would you encourage people to have a healthy foundation that would lead to healthy relationships?

Relationship with God is meant to change everything. When we trust in Jesus to be our salvation, the Holy Spirit comes to dwell inside of us. He begins a remodeling process in us that takes the rest of our lives. We have to cooperate with Him in this process. It is possible to be a Christian and remain self-centered and unloving. So talking with God, thinking about God, and learning about God are ways of deepening that relationship.

^“7 Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. ⁸ Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. ⁹ This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. ¹⁰ This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. ¹¹ Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. ¹² No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.

¹³ This is how we know that we live in him and he in us: He has given us of his Spirit. ¹⁴ And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. ¹⁵ If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in them and they in God. ¹⁶ And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.

God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. ¹⁷ This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus. ¹⁸ There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

¹⁹ We love because he first loved us.” 1 John 4:7-19New International Version (NIV)

Relationships require some kind of communication. The main way God talks to people is through his Word, so time in the Bible is huge. If we lack a biblical foundation, we are guessing what God wants (if we are thinking about what God wants at all). By becoming familiar with the Bible we are building a frame of reference. Then the Holy Spirit can bring a passage to mind just when we need it. You don’t have to spend hours every day, a few minutes a day adds up over time. You can listen to CDs or download Bible audio versions if you struggle with sitting down to read.

^“12 For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.” Hebrews 4:12New International Version (NIV)

Ready to stop playing games? Ready for relationships based on more than selfish needs and competitive motives? Ready for a relationship with God that can have a positive and eternal impact on your other relationships? Make Him your priority and see what happens. You will be amazed!